Often times in life we see a cross-roads. We are not sure which direction we want to take, so we ask everyone else what they would do. We rely on research and others often conflicting opinions on which road to take. Sometimes, we just choose to do nothing. Too many options, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of making the right choice. We want our family, friends and even strangers to be proud of us. We want so badly to fit in, to be in the "in crowd".
This is life.
Rarely do we listen to that small inner voice that speaks to us, guiding us. We drown it out with TV, Facebook, news, gossip, other peoples thoughts, food, addictions-anything so we don't have to face it. It's honestly scary as crap, and trusting that small voice is what I am now doing. Despite the fear, and days of inaction that may come of it I have realized that fighting who I am is not worth it. I have been hiding my light for too long, I have been stuck, suffering, overfeeding myself with media, food, TV so as not to face the reality of the life I was meant to live. There are days when that still happens, but you know what, that is OK! I have learned (and am still learning), that by shining my light and being authentic allows other people to stand up and shine theirs as well. Was I always like this, um NO, but that is part of the process; learning to trust that voice, to do those things that bring you joy and stop doing the things that cause you pain (relationships, jobs, whatever!), it doesn't happen right away. I am not telling you to go out and end a relationship, quit your job and be an artist. I am saying start small and DO what lights you up. Dance in your living room, get out in nature, pet the dog, volunteer, one small thing creates great changes in your energy and therefore your life.
I often get asked "Why did you move? MN to FL to SC and now to Oregon???" "Why are you starting a coaching business after years of working a STABLE job?" , "Where did you come up with the name?"
For all those curious on those and how in the world this all connects, here's your answer:
TRUTH- (this is scary to admit) I moved in part because no place felt like home. At first it was like the Goldilocks story. MN was too cold, FL too hot, SC was just right, but then I realized "just right" was "just comfortable" it wasn't stretching me, and it honestly didn't feel right. I needed a place where I could fully be myself, embrace my love of crystals, oracle cards, meditation and what some may call "woo woo stuff". I took a walk with my dog after I had surgery and lost my job. I felt like a failure, lost in the sea. I wasn't sure what to do. I knew that there was a part of me that was relieved that I wasn't working a crazy stressful job that was making me sick, but then what? I got the clear message that I needed to share MY message with the world. That I was here for a higher purpose, and so with fear, uncertainty and peace I followed that message. Mind you, I did a TON of research before moving as well, but it was mostly a leap of faith. That I was called to do something more, to use my gifts to see the authentic self to help others. YES, it's not the 9 to 5 I am used to, but so much more! Ever since I was little I had these gifts that I hid from the world, intuition, empathy, I understood what energy was and the inner light from a young age. I saw others souls vrs their outer selves, and fear and puberty had me lose it. I am regaining myself and helping others regain themselves in the process. As for the name, as long as I can remember I have had a spirit guide, if you will, the hawk. Every time I am questioning if I am on the right path, if I am making the right choice I see my bird. When my aunt passed I saw him 7 days in a row in the same spot within 2 feet of me as I walked to work. The day I left my job I saw three. I trust that I am being guided, as hawks are one of the messenger birds. I am being guided. This is my path, and I trust that I will be led where I need to be. I believe I was brought to each place, into each persons life for a reason. So, if you are here reading this- trust that you are being guided as well!
This is just the beginning.